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Truth

by Eli Jordan, Graphic Design and Publications Manager

Eli Jordan provided this short inspiration for an Advancement Team meeting on April 1, 2020. May her "Truth" provide some inspiration and comic relief during this time!

I wake up at 6:00. I go downstairs, pour a cup of coffee and feed the animals. In the kitchen I trip over the same box that I have tripped over twice this week and proceed to kick it with such force that my cat looks appalled.
 
I come back to my office and try to think of something to inspire the amazing women with whom I work. Something to dazzle them, distract them, make them feel like “Yeah. I’m not going to let something as silly as a l’il ole pandemic get this girl down. Thanks Eli. I feel so much better now.”
 
I look through books.
 
I think about poems I love.
 
I think about maybe standing in front of the web cam with my mandolin and show off the fact that, while in captivity, I have learned to play the chords of G, C, and D.
 
As I am trying to find inspiration, I realize that I need to get Highlights uploaded to the Kinkos website. Here is what happens:
 
I export my file to a PDF.
 
It takes forever for the pdf to save.
 
When I upload the PDF to Kinkos, it is the wrong size and the preview is stretched such that Leonard looks overweight for the only time in his life.
 
I curse.
 
I export the pdf again to the correct size. Now it has crop marks.
 
I export the pdf again. InDesign crashes.
 
I curse and start to sweat because I realize I still don’t have an inspiration and the meeting is at 10:00, not 11:00 like I previously thought. And I am going to have to take a shower because I look like I gave myself a DIY fringe haircut.
 
I restart InDesign. I export my pdf.
 
InDesign crashes.
 
It is now 8:07 and I am considering throwing my coffee mug against the wall so that my husband will wake up and I can pretend like I didn’t mean to wake him — “But since you’re awake, could you fix my computer – pretty please?”
 
I think if I were at work with my printer down the hall, this would not be an issue. I think about how much I love that printer and how I had never really thought about my deep feelings for that machine until now.
 
I think about how much I love my office and the people I work with and get to see every day and that stripe of wallpaper behind my desk and the way Hamilton and James and Kate and whoever might pass will stick their heads in the door and say hello.
 
I restart and do a “print to PDF” and this time it works. And I am briefly relieved until I remember that I still haven’t figured out my inspiration and besides, I am not really in the mood to inspire anyone, and based on my tantrum throwing all morning, who do I think I am to try to inspire anyone?
 
And so, out of desperation, like I do so often in life, I decide to write it down. The silliness, the pettiness, the absolute absurdity of what is happening. I try to find a little bit of humor in the insanity and know that I will look back at this piece of paper one day and say – whooo hoooo -- we made it!
 
Love y’all. 
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  • Gena Adams-Riley
    Keepin' it real, Eli! Thank you! Missing the fabulous ladies of SMAC. XO
  • Kathy Corwin
    You, Eli, are one of those people who: You breathe, therefore you inspire. May you soon be reunited with your printer and especially with the colleagues who brighten your days with their greetings!
  • KELLI SASSER
    Love this Eli!
  • KELLI SASSER
    I Love this! Awesome
    • The Advancement Team in an April 1 Zoom Meeting, in desperate need of a good Zoom filter!

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