The Season of College Admission Decisions: Keep Perspective!

 

Throughout the next three weeks in living rooms across the country, students will be glaring intently at computer screens, anxiously awaiting their college admission fates. Some will be greeted by “Congratulations!” and confetti flying across the screens, while others will simply learn that they have been denied or placed on a wait list. Thousands of high schools seniors (and their parents) will experience elation and, equally as many, disappointment.

 

Yes, the season of regular decision admission notifications is once again upon us. We know it’s coming and we even accept that competition to highly selective colleges is more intense than ever before. However, as with every preceding year, the media won’t be able to resist conducting an intense examination of the process and blasting the findings (most selective year ever! record breaking applications!) in every form of social media imaginable until we are all just about exhausted from reading about it!   College admission professionals will share wisdom in thoughtful blogs and letters to their applicants, and students and parents will light up their social media with their lamenting and celebrating.

 

Parents and students have heard all the stats and listened to plenty of advice regarding the college process. Still, when one is actually in the process as an applicant, admissions decisions are deeply personal and they can bring a whirlwind of emotions.

 

So then, through all the hype and anxiety, what should we learn and take away from this process?

 

Well, in my over 30 years in the college admission and college counseling professions, I have adopted a singular and true statement that I desire every student to embrace:

A college admission decision does not define you!  

 

Unfortunately, many people view a college admission decision as the ultimate validation of a student’s intellectual talents and hard work throughout high school. If a student is ‘deserving,’ then by all means he should be admitted to that selective, first choice college, right? Well, in my many years of counseling, I have witnessed many exceptionally talented students receive disappointing admission decisions, and they certainly did not lack intellectual promise, innate talent or an unswerving work ethic.

 

I have to remind students that, just as they are seeking the best college fit, colleges are also building communities that meet their unique institutional needs. You bet! They have the very difficult job of determining which of the thousands of students will be the right fit for THEM in this particular year. And guess what? – The institutional needs and goals of a college or university can change (and do change) every year. A college may need more math majors one year and more nursing applicants the next. They may need a unique geographical diversity this year or they may seek to enroll fewer freshmen because they overenrolled last year. For most selective colleges, there are simply just too many applicants for too few spots in the freshmen class. Thus, admission officers are challenged with having to make distinctions between highly qualified candidates. And, given the current college admission media buzz, I feel compelled to add that college admission professionals use great integrity when selecting their ‘admits’ and building their respective college classes.

 

Students and parents need to understand that getting a denial from a college is not a personal affront or an indication that a child did not work hard enough in the classroom, play enough tennis, perform in enough plays, commit to enough community service, or complete a compelling application. We simply must accept that this college is not the right match and move on to explore more fully those schools that are. Set your sights on discovering those colleges where YOU are going to be able to really engage and make a difference in their community! Believe that many colleges will value your gifts and talents and the contributions you can make to their communities. This process has a way of working out, and you need to believe that you are going to be at a great college next fall, happily immersed in your new college home.    

 

One thing we must believe: There are great colleges for every child who desires to go to college! There are over 3,000 four-year colleges and universities in the U.S. and many of them accept over fifty percent of their applicant pool. Yet, in the college admission process we seem to focus on the most selective and highly selective sets of schools, allowing their extraordinarily low acceptance rates to drive our conversations and form our perspectives regarding college admission.   I say, let’s not allow that to happen anymore!   EVERY college or university has strengths and wonderful opportunities to offer students. They key is discovering those that best fit a child. (And rarely will that be one with a 10% or lower accept rate!)

 

I believe strongly that success in a child’s college search must be measured not only by the tangible outcomes (finding the right fit), but also by the process itself. Approached thoughtfully, the college application process can be a most rewarding journey of self-discovery for a young adult. A student should view this as a research project for which he needs to look inward at his own uniqueness and conduct an honest self-assessment of his talents, abilities, strengths, interests, goals, values and learning style. Only after this self-assessment can a student truly identify the appropriate college environment or ‘fit.’  

 

The college application process demands that students are pushed out of their comfort zone; for the first time teenagers will be asked to articulate, on paper and in person, who they are, what they value and what they care about. They will be asked to think and write reflectively. I have seen it many times – that great revelation at the end of a student’s college search when he realizes that, through the process, he has learned a great deal about who he is and what he values, and he has discovered to value his own uniqueness.  

 

So, when it comes to your college application process, invest and put forth your best efforts!   Be proud of your personal story!   If you conduct a personalized college search (searching for the ‘fit’ that is right for you), produce thoughtful and thorough applications and share your personal story with college admission officers, then you have met great success with your college process. You will come away with real personal insight, pride and satisfaction knowing you have put your best efforts forward and shared your wonderful uniqueness with colleges. And, the colleges that accept you into their fold are indeed fortunate!

 

So yes, for some students a negative college admission decision may be the first time they have had to deal with real disappointment. But, this too is a learning process. Young adults need to discover that life will bring disappointments along the way; however, they must learn to look beyond disappointment and focus on how they will make the best out of the opportunities they are given. Often times, disappointment leads us to the most amazing experiences.

 

We must celebrate the process as well as the outcome!